Wow so much has happened since the pediatrition said "go home pack some comfortable clothes and meet me at the Sydney Children’s Hospital I will have an neurological team waiting there!" We were driving in and Beck asked me if I was ok at that point I burst into tears and said no this is really bad. It is very difficult to drive whilst driving so I had to pull it together. The poor little thing was poked prodded jabbed for the next 6 hrs meeting god only knows how many doctors.

 

That first week my body felt like I had done a marathon each day without the feeling of accomplishment, my soul felt numb. I could not say to someone, "Charlotte has a brain tumor without bursting into tears.

 

Then come the feelings of helplessness, having no control. The feelings of anger, what did we do to deserve this and then oh maybe may be my actions caused this, did I bring home some chemical on my work clothes or drop her on her head or maybe I put her to close to the microwave. People say you can't think like that but you      y well do.

 

I could go on all day with what goes through your head especially in the beginning. On the flip side, the support from friends and family has been truly amazing Beck and I feel as though we can conquer anything that comes our way with the backing we have.

 

This trial has also strengthened the bond and unity between Beck and myself. Anything that tries to get in our way look out.

 

I thank you all who read Charlie's web site, post messages or send messages via other friends. It seems many of you have joined this roller coaster and will be along for both the highs and lows.

 

We are looking forward and hoping for a week that presents more good news than it does bad always knowing that we have the best medical team on our side together with so much love and positivity.