We managed SIX whole days at home and returned for Charlotte’s scheduled clinic appointment and bloods on Thursday. Prior to returning for clinic Charlotte had been really well, happy, eating, drinking and sleeping soundly. However, I did comment to Rod that I thought her white blood cell count had dropped as she suddenly woke with a runny nose and was dark under the eyes. Her bloods on Thursday revealed an extremely low WBC count and NO neutrophils (help fight everything in the body) Whilst this was expected after her last round of chemo the neuro-oncologist wasn’t sure if her count would be sufficient to commence chemo on the following Thursday and said that we would just have to wait and see.

By 7pm on Thursday night (after only returning from SCH at 1.45pm) she was febrile and I had to ring Rod, who had just gone on to night shift, to return home so I could take her to Emergency. Already set for a night shift at Qantas Rod said he would take Charlie and I could stay with Madeleine. She was admitted, put on an antibiotic drip and sent to C3West, again! When they arrived the nurses had written a large "Welcome Back Charlotte" sign on the white board. We really are in C3 West way too often!

When I returned to hospital the following day Rod was in a pair of blue scrubs. When I asked what had happened he told me that Charlotte had thrown up her milk after taking some meds and he had to wash their clothes. When I asked when it happened he explained that it was early. I was asking the questions because I knew that he was attending a carers morning tea on level one of the hospital, which he did in his t-shirt and blue hospital pants. He replied; "I wasn’t missing a free feed and shoulder massage for the carers" God love him!

Charlotte is still in hospital. She has had numerous tests and hasn’t had any temps since Thursday night. Hopefully, she will be allowed to come home tomorrow. Whilst her WBC count and neutrophils are now at great levels she still looks pale and hasn’t eaten too much. Other than that she is happy and most probably sick of being confined to her room. Rod and I have really struggled with being back in hospital again. The truth is I know that I am struggling with the need to be hyper-organised (bags ready for hospital, medications, Charlottes medical folder, Madeleine’s bags packed in case, etc) and being comfortably flexible with a routine that is regularly changed and disrupted. To confuse the mix further, I grapple with the torturous medical journey that Charlotte endures each day. But when it all seems too much I look at our little girl and realise that this grievance is my own and that Charlotte is just happy being, happy and gorgeous. She is our hard-work, super girl!

I hope that you are enjoying Halloween. Madeleine began screaming tonight and running behind me yelling; "Quick Mummy there is a clown and monster running down our path…" How do you explain Halloween to a three year old? How do you explain giving away all the lollies? Anyway, Happy Halloween.

Beck and Rod xo